Smaller
It's 2:40 am and I'm wide awake missing all of you from MWF '07 and those from previous seasons as well.
I'm staying in my great uncle's house because my parents don't have enough room for me right now, while I'm here in Southern Oregon to perform three different plays back to back. This is a first for me, so I appreciate your prayers...especially since you're keeping me awake...just kidding.
As an adult, every time I enter my great uncle's house it feels so much smaller than I remember. It's one of three homes on our family's 70 acre farm 25 miles north of California. My grandpa and his brother built two of the homes by hand when they started farming about 70 years ago. Then Dad moved onto the farm when he took it over. You can see the view at RichDrama.com/NewsBlog (7/29ish/07). All three homes are just large enough. As a kid they always seemed plenty big. We had Thanksgiving in the home in which I'm trying to sleep. Now it seems so much smaller than I remember.
I think it's not just that we're so much larger than the selves that fit into our memories of these places, but our expectations of what's big enough has changed.
Relative to the homes of Compassion kids I've visited, where I've seen as many as 10 share a single room, this is a mansion. Relative to the one-bedroom apartment Joyce and I keep in NYC it's substantial. But I've stayed in a lot of homes (about 100 a year), since my rider states that I prefer to stay with host families than in hotels. That's to keep expenses down for host venues, but also to get to know families. Granted, I don't tend to get hosted by people with smaller homes, but I do think that as a society we have a propensity to wanting more and more.
I believe I missed part of my calling because of that propensity.
I'm trying to sleep just a few miles from the Ashland Shakespeare Festival: One of the sources of inspiration for this crazy career choice. Because I took every workshop I could there as a kid I grew up knowing how poor actors are. That kept me from persuing acting as a career until it was actually happening. The Lord certainly worked through my choices, but I'm weeping to think of what He could have done through me had I not avoided this calling for so long.
Some of you fear poverty. Some of you fear wealth, because you're not certain you'd use it well.
Some of you are seeking identity through acting or through the great wealth it could provide if you "make it." You're a child of the King. You made it when you asked Him to accept you into the family. Don't allow fear of what the world thinks of you to instruct your choices.
Don't allow fear of anything keep you from God's calling. It may not turn out to be acting. I hope for many of you it is. But if God is calling you to it He will provide...enough.


